As I am starting to write this blog I'm trying to figure out where to begin. I suppose I could start with the traffic here in Beijing, or the smog, or the stress over trying to order something to eat. Maybe I could start with English signs and that are seen all over Beijing. But, alas, I have decided to tell you about my little experience at the Bank.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining in the sky (I think) and it was warm outside. (Hot and overly humid was more like it. On second thought, maybe it wasn't that beautiful after all.) I needed to go to the bank to do a Western Union transfer to my bank account in the US. I had already performed this task once before and felt that I was capable of performing the task again with speed and efficiency. I entered the bank with a rib cage of confidence.
I went in and asked the woman at the information counter for the form to send money via Western Union. She gave me the proper form and pointed to another counter with a seat so I could fill it out. As I started to fill out the form I realized that the woman had followed me and was now looking over my left shoulder watching me. Almost right away the woman and I were joined by the club toting security guard who looked at the woman and then looked at me and then back to the woman and then back to me. I thought "What's going on?" Then it hit me.
The Chinese are all taught to write with their right hand. I am left handed. So, I'm a tall, white, goofy looking, furry, left handed white man standing in the middle of a bank in Beijing, China. I just laughed a little and finished filling out the paper.
I thought that this would be the end of this little trip into the unknown. I was wrong. When I finished I sat down and waited for the teller to call my number so I could finish the transaction. As I sat there the security guard started to walk towards me holding his left arm and saying something in Chinese. I, of course, didn't know what he was saying, but I realized that he was asking me about me writing with my left hand. I said "Yes, I'm left-handed." He then said something in Chinese to me and I had to inform him that I could not understand him. He then turned his back to me, and while looking at his co-workers, pointed back at me and said something in Chinese and then laughed mockingly. I realized that he was making fun of me but I really didn't care. He then turned around and said something again in Chinese and I said again "I'm sorry I don't speak Chinese yet." He then stepped a little closer and said something else. After I repeated my previous response, he stepped a little closer and said something else, to which I just shrugged my shoulders. He then turned around again and pointed back at me and said in Chinese, "hello, thank you, no problem." and then laughed all the more. So now I was getting a little angry because the guy was not just laughing at me, basically he was calling me stupid because all I could say in Chinese was "hello, thank you and no problem." Soon the teller called me up to finish my transaction and as I was walking up to the teller the guard came up to me and in almost perfect English said "Your should learn Chinese." to which I responded "DUDE!!! I'M TRYING!!!!!!!" He left me alone after that.
I would like to say that this was the end of my encounter but it was not. After about 5 minutes of looking at my paperwork and entering info into his computer, the teller informs me through an interpreter that I had filled out more than I needed and instead of just crossing out the info or just IGNORING IT I had to fill out a new form. So I filled it out again and then after a few minutes I was told that the form was correct and everything would be fine. After about another 10 minutes or so of him entering in information on his computer, looking at the computer, looking at my passport, looking at the computer, entering more information into the computer, etc.... he informed me again though an interpreter that he needed the address of the bank the money was being sent to. I said "It's a Western Union transfer! It's not going to a bank!!!" I then had to explain how things are done in the US when it comes to Western Union. "Oh", he said and typed a little more. Then he told me that he needed the receiver's telephone #. To which I said "No you don't! I have done this before and I know you don't need that!!!!" OK, he said and typed a little more.
Finally he said that it was all done and handed me my paper work and told me to go to teller number 2. He was teller number 3. I stood up, took 2 steps sideways to my right, sat back down, handed teller #2 my paperwork which she stamped and handed back to me. That was all she did. I got up and walked out.
So to sum up:
Western Union transfer that in the US usually takes about 10 minutes took about 45 minutes to an hour.
Used approximately 3 trees worth of paper to do an electronic (PAPERLESS) transfer of funds.
Was ridiculed, mocked, scorned and left completely befuddled, frustrated and so stressed and angry that I could not even talk straight for the next hour or so.
And all of this was done before 12 noon.
Well, theirs only ONE thing left to say.
HEY! WELCOME TO CHINA!!!
